EP 2 THAT Andi

This episode is all about your host, THAT Andi. You are taken from his beginnings in suburban New Jersey to Manhattan, Vermont, San Francisco, and then wind up in Hawaii. You will learn all about how he first went to Burning Man in 1996, started the Hawaii Regional group (Ka Pilina), started the Regional Information Center, started CORE, retired, and has been getting dragged back into the orbit of the playa. And all of this leads to his understanding of what he calls "The Connection", a lesson taught by the playa. All of this leads us to this podcast, what it is all about and why he is doing it.

Transcript

They make the trek out to Burning Man for a week and a day. After a lot of work, oh, there's a lot of play. Party party drama drama drama. b****, b****, b****. Year after year, they come back to scratch that itch. They all say their lives have been changed. After many years, lives have have been rearranged. That changes what this show is all about. You'll see the impact of Burning Man up and out. So sit back, relax, and cancel all your plans. These are the stories about the shadow of the man.

Hello, and welcome to the second episode of Shadow of the Man. I am your host, Andy. Wait, what? That Andy? That's right. Today's episode is all about, well, me. Being the host of this show, it's probably a good idea for you to get a sense of who I am. Now, this show will be the exception to the rule. And that rule is this show is not about me. If you want to hear my opinions on a regular basis, I would have called this the Andy show. Now, to start off with this uh there's this my ply name or lack thereof that Andy in the 28 years since I first went to Burning Man. Yeah, I first went in 1996. No one has ever given me a a PL name. I never really picked one for myself. I figured, you know, you have to like earn it. So, something kind of kept happening like over the years, you know, I'd be hanging around with people and be talking and and like like who are you? Like what? You know, it's like oh, you know, Andy like who? What? Like Andy from Hawaii. I've done this. I've done that. You know, and they're like oh that Andy. or oh oh that handy like oh that's basically how I got my play name but let's see where should we start I guess we'll all start in the beginning right I was born in uh 1971 long long time ago in suburban northern New Jersey I'm the baby the youngest of four kids uh my mother was born in in South Africa. She came to the United States by herself as a teenager. Uh she's of mixed race. Uh let's see. I think she's part of what is it called? The L0D1B Hlo group. Basically, that means it's like her maternal lineage going back, you know, mitochondrial DNA like, you know, since time immemorial, uh belongs to this. It's a pretty rare uh subtype group that uh basically most ly most of the people who are of this lineage all live in South Africa. Uh Nelson Mandela is actually a member of this group. My dad was uh born in the United States uh to Italian immigrants. They came through Ellis Island, I think in the 20s or something. My dad was a film professor. He loved Alfred Hitchcock. Every Friday we would have a movie night. He would break out the old 16 mm projector and bring home like a different Alfred Hitchcock movies. I mean, I grew up in this old Victorian house that uh wasn't really up to modern electrical codes. Didn't really have light switches. You know, you had to like walk into a middle of the room and like pull a chain to like turn the light on. So, yeah, I managed to watch Psycho and the Birds and Dial M for Murder and all those probably at least a dozen times by the time I was like 10 years old. Yeah, that was that was that was good. Good. times. So, yeah, I did a 23 in me a couple years ago. Found out that I'm uh actually 10.5% subsaharan African, 14% central and south Asian, 1% East Asian, and the rest is about 73.4% panuropean, Irish and Dutch, but like mostly Italian. Uh I identify as a man and my pronouns are he and him. So yeah, grew up in 1971. I spent the 70s to mid 80s going to public school in New Jersey and then uh went off to uh private school in Manhattan. Then during the 1980s uh Jesuit high school, uh I spent my summers cutting grass and falls raking leaves to make, you know, 20 hour 20 bucks for like six hours of work. You know, it's enough to buy candy and go to the hobby store, make little plastic models, and, you know, occasionally would get in the old VW Beetle, you and drive off to Action Park, if you guys ever saw that documentary. Yeah. Yeah. I would go to Action Park and, you know, come home with a perhaps mild concussion. So yeah, in the 80s I went to a Jesuit high school in New York City. I had to take two trains, walk through Time Square, and a long bus ride home. I didn't really realize this until decades later that uh I think it was like 1985 to 1989, New York City was like the highest crime period in New York's history. So that walk through Time Square Yeah. We had a a uniform you had to wear. It was a blue blazer with a, you know, the school crest on the p, you know, on the breast pocket and it had a button-down shirt and a tie and, you know, walking through Time Square with all the peep shows and rated X theaters and people walking by offering to buy you drugs, you know, for or sell you drugs, you know, for a 15, 16 year old kid. That was just quite formative. But But uh I eventually graduated from high school, realized my dream of leaving suburban New Jersey. I uh moved up to uh Vermont. I went to University of Vermont, Burlington, Vermont. Beautiful, beautiful place. Uh wonderful people. Uh I studied biochemistry. Yeah. I originally had the idea I was going to be a doctor, but after like my first semester, I realized uh I'm not going to med school. This is kind of crazy. Um, so yeah, I studied biochemistry. My junior year, I actually I went to Florence, Italy. I studied art, art history. Traveled all over Europe. Yeah, I kind of took a break from the biochemistry and then uh yeah, did like sculpture and painting and art history and like all manner of art art studies. It was a it was a very formative, very exciting, very fun fun year. here. Then I came back to the United States. I remember the day I landed was in was like April of 1992 and on the news it was like uh LA is burning down riots. I'd been out of the country for a year and with the very limited uh back then, you know, there would just be there was no internet. You know, maybe I would get like this limited English language newspaper like once a week or every two weeks or something. But you know, I came back and like who's this Bill Clinton guy? It's like why is, you know, LA burning to the ground. Like what's going on? But uh yeah, finished up college and I met uh then was my girlfriend Nicole who eight eight years later would be become my wife and we're still married together today. And after I graduated, I did a one-year course in uh what's called cytology, which is the career I'm I'm due to this day. I work at a pathology department and basically the job entails looking for cancer. Yep. So, yeah, we moved from Vermont, you know, we wanted to get out of the the cold because the both of us lived in New England and we're like, "Oh, we want to go somewhere warm. Like, where should we go?" We're like, "The South like Florida, like the Gulf Coast, no, you know, Midwest, no, you know, Northwest." And they're like, "Hm." At the time, like the the number Burlington, Vermont was the number two most rainiest place in the country. Number one was Seattle and I think Portland was kind of close behind that. So we're like how about West Coast somewhere, you know? Uh from everything we knew or heard of people that like heard about LA, we're like uh I don't know. Sounds kind of crazy. So settled on good old San Francisco. My brother Dan moved there about a year before we did cuz we moved there 1994. He moved there in 1993. And so we actually stayed with him for the first few weeks while we were getting an apartment. Uh yeah, and uh by that time like me and my brother Dan hadn't really spent like very much time together. Like I mean we grew up together as kids like in New Jersey, but like as I said like I'm the youngest of four and we're all like two years apart and he's uh uh he's about four years older than me. So So like you he went off to college and then came back from college and then like left again and then you know I was in high school and then I was in college. So we didn't really sync up for a number of years and so we kind of reconnected at a point when I think I was 22 and he was 26. So uh yeah you know we proceeded to uh make up for lost time. We had a really great time. Uh we met a lot of friends and uh you were both new to San Francisco, right? But, uh, we made a lot of friends in the like the underground like arts community, uh, just like underground community. And so that's where we first heard of Burning Man. And so we had some friends who who went uh, and I think in the summer of 1996, like Dan and I were hanging out and we're like, you know, we what we've never done is like we've never we've never taken like a road trip together, you know, like let's let's go do something. fun, you know. And our friend Sharon was like, "Oh, you guys should go to Burning Man." Yeah. That was the person who originally uh got us to go to Burning Man was a a black British woman, a friend of ours named Sharon Virtue. Her and her boyfriend, Almond, you know, they were like, "Oh, yeah. Come with us. Come camp with us." And so, yeah, she just had one stipulation. She's like, "Can you bring Almond up in your car?" I was like, "Oh, sure." So, this was 1996. I believe we went up on Saturday. They burned the man on Sunday. We came back Monday, right? Uh so my brother had a hatchback like VW GTI and we stuffed the three of us in that car. Almond. Yeah, Almond. I'm not sure if he still is or he was like a DJ. Um not sure his DJ name is or was But uh yeah, we all like stuffed in the car and we didn't even have regular coolers. We just had, you know, like styrofoam coolers and we like stopped in Reno and like we picked up like a bunch of wood. I mean I mean we we we did get a survival guide, you know, but it was this 11 by 17 or what eight or eight and a half by 17, whatever it is. Um like photocopy. It was like a number of pages just like stapled together and I think we basically read the part about like just like the directions and how to get there because the whole time we were like driving out, you know, we're just like, "So, what exactly are we headed towards?" And we're just like, "I don't know." You know, at the time I thought was like, "Well, you know, this a bunch of people like doing crazy things, you know, like RVs and stuff like so." I was like, "You mean like those old people who like travel around the country like they get together in like an RV?" And I was like, "Or maybe it's some sort of like like biker kind of gang thing like It's like old people in RVs and bikers. Like what? This is strange. Okay, so we get up to Gerlac. Are a few road entry signs. We we we get off the black top and you know there's this cars pulling in. This is like Saturday. H what time is it? Probably like early afternoon or something and you know we thought we were there's going to be some sort of gate or something. It's like yeah couple of people and they're just like oh Yeah, you got your compass, right? And we're like, uh, compass. Oh, shoot. That was part of the the instructions we didn't read. And like, yeah, yeah, just point it in this direction and then go like put your speedometer and like go for this many miles and you can't miss it. And we're like, uh, all right. And so then we just like start taking off and everybody I mean there's like a number of cars and everyone just like just put pedal to the metal and was just like speeding off and it was just this plume of of dust. Couldn't see anything, right? So, my brother was like, you know, I'm just going to go a little like outside of the line of the cars. Like, we'll just kind of follow the line of cars, but like it's so dusty and dirty. Like, we're just going to go outside of it. Uh, you know, but we we'll find it. Don't worry. Right. So, I guess we weren't the only ones had the same idea. So, all the cars were just kind of peeling off in different directions. It was just dusty everywhere. So, by the time we get out and we see daylight, there's just like dust all over the place. And so, we just start heading in a random direction and we're just driving and driving. He's like, I want to get far enough away from the dust. And we're like, okay. So, we proceed to get lost in the play. We don't know where it is. I mean, at a certain point, you see the heat mirage 360°, you know, all you can really see are just like the mountains, you know. And you know, we heard I mean, one of the the things that we didn't skip in the information was just that like, oh yeah, you know, if the ply starts to turn dark, you know, that means it's wet and you can get like stuck in the mud and you know, you'll die out there and everything. And we're like, huh? And so we're driving along and you could hear like the play like kind of sticking to the tires and starting to kick up and we're like, what's that? And the play's getting darker and all of a sudden you start seeing these like little like trees. sticking up out of out of the plya. We're like I don't think it's supposed to be anything like living here. And so I mean like I thought we were just going to like just run into some swamp and then just die there, you know, like the tarpits of Labraa or something. But uh we eventually got out and then we're driving and we're driving and then we see it on the horizon, you know, out of the heat mage. We're like, "Oh yeah, there it is." We're like brother puts a pedal in the metal. It's going like 90 100 110 miles an hour. Like yeah, yeah, it's coming up. And we're like, "Huh, that's that's a really large city." And like, "Wait a minute. Well, that's that's coming up like awfully fast." And all of a sudden, it was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow slam on the brakes." And we like slammed on the brakes. And then we proceeded to go bouncing over what we would later discover to be two ruts probably from like a monster truck that like was out there when it was like really muddy, but now it was dried. So, we know we go boom boom. I think the windshield like gets this huge track. You know, we fly around all the wood in the car. It's all like crazy. So, you know, we stop, get out, everything's fine. And then we tool around for a little more, and then, you know, we we finally finally find the city, drive in, find, you know, the I'm in and Sharon's camp. Um, and then, you know, we proceed to pitch our little tent, and then we have a tarp going off the side of the GTI. You know, we dig, you know, again, we didn't read the survival guide. you know, but uh you know, we do it like we always do when you go camping. Like what do you do? You know, like, oh, we have a pile of wood, right? So, let's let's dig a hole. Let's make a fire pit. Yeah. You know, like make a fire pit in in the plier, right? And so, you know, we hang out. This is Saturday, Saturday night. I think we like we're like, "Oh, we're going to go to bed." And then Almond like, you know, scratches, knocks on her tent, and he's like, "Oh, hey, you should come on out to the rave camp. I'm like, you know, dejing out there and you can get some ecstasy out there. whatever. Like, oh, so, you know, we get up and start the drive and it just like, you know, points in a direction. It's lights or whatever and it's like, yeah, it's like, you know, like up the half mile like that way. We're like, uh, okay. And, you know, I had to go to the bathroom. But I was like, yeah, don't worry. Portaotty's out there. Like, oh, awesome. Like was like, should we bring water? It's like, oh, I got water out there, you know. So, you know, we're going and he's like, oh, don't forget to bring a flashlight. There's people driving around all over the place. And, oh, yeah, they were. And uh you know, we'd hear cars coming. I mean, you turn your flashlight on, like wave them off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We eventually get out there, have a good time. Of course, there's no portaotti. Of course, there's no water. Of course, there is the ecstasy. Um, you know, walking back, we see the sunrise. I mean, wasn't exactly the most pleasant experience in the world. Uh, I think that's where my my hatred of the the sunrise kind of began. I mean, in later years, Seeing the sunrise was more of a sign of defeat that yet again I had stayed up all night and now since you know I just have like a sweltering tent it's like I'm going to get no sleep during the day but anyway you know we uh we come back and uh get some water go to the porta potty and we see we're like wow what happened last night a lot of things burn and then you know this is Sunday right so Sunday night they're like oh they burned the man yeah and it's just you know this time you know we We made sure we had plenty of water and go to the board party. And you know, we're walking out and there's like a bunch of throngs of crowds coming going to see the man burn. He's on like a pyramid of bales of hay. And you know, there's just these these crazy like local dudes in a lifted truck just like just driving, you know, like going through the crowds of people. People yelling, screaming, "Hey, what are you doing? Stop." And then, you know, I just see them. It just kind of go just stepping on the gas. And then Vroom right into some tent. Just drives right over a tent. I believe that those were some of the some of the first uh deaths at at Burning Man. Yeah. Certainly that not not the last. And then uh yeah, next morning, Monday, Labor Day, you know, we packed up and head back. And of course, you know, we were like, "Wow, what a crazy experience." It's like in certain respects, it's like, "Oh, we almost could have died." And this instance and that in We're like, "This is awesome. We got to do it again." So 1997, yeah, that year I guess was it was on the the Walapai Playa and that was the first year of our uh theme camp we came up with. We spent and this this time we actually read the Shioval guide. Okay. Like and and we prepared and we made theme camp. I don't think we like registered it here or anything, but uh we came up with what was entirely for us we thought which was um the cult of distraction. Yeah, it has a really awesome logo. It looks like a fish. People think it's like the the Jesus fish, but it's like no, actually it's a the cult of distraction. So yeah, there just me and Dan and we got like a 12 foot box truck and we got this like 5,000 watt generator, you know, it's like on wheels and we basically use it to power like two or three light bulbs. I mean, we didn't qu understand electronics you know that that that well like in in the beginning. Uh but you know we quickly made some new friends who later became like core members of our camp and our group for the next couple of years. Uh yeah there's there's a million stories from that year. I'm sure as time goes by and you talk to other people I'll probably bring up like anecdotes. Uh yeah is Bianca Smutchack Temple of Atonement. Uh Aesthetic Meat Foundation. I guess they were a bunch of vegans or vegetarians or something that that brought like a whole bunch of uh animal carcasses and meat and they just spread like blood like all over the playa. And yeah, they were kind of some some freaky freaky dudes. And then some friends of our or some people we just met, they just drove across country and you know, they stopped in Utah or wherever and they're like, "We have like two trash bags full of fireworks." And we're like, "Yeah, awesome. Let's go." So of course, you know, we go out on a playa, you know, around sunset and there's like, you know, bunches of people going out there like shooting off fireworks and, you know, shooting off mortars and these the large packs. So, like one of the times we we we were like, "Okay, we're going to set up uh two mortars and one of these like large like, you know, packs." And so, um, there's three of us, right? And so, we set it all up and we're like, "Okay, one, two, three." We light it and look like we back off. And my friend Brad who let the like the pack thing in the middle like he wasn't backing off far enough like come on man what are you doing quit quit messing around like come back and he was just like we're like running backwards and the fuse is going down he was like uh I think I put it upside down and he starts like walking back towards it you know we're like what no so we both had to like grab him and pull and drag him back the two mortars go off boom boom kaboom kaboom like you could hear like the the whole city. People go and then the pack starts going. Now the pack is basically has this maybe 12 in diameter octagonal pack that has like a whole bunch of little tubes in it. So it's like it's like an entire fireworks show in like one box, right? So it's upside down. So we fireworks just shooting off across the playa 360 degrees. It's coming at us. It's going other places. Just going on like a random the city just kind of goes crazy. And we're just like And we could hear the sirens and stuff coming. So like uh you know we just we we take off leave our moop there on the player where later we would understand to become m you know. Yeah. So that was like 1997 98 came back with COD again had uh this year we had like about 10 campers or so and we camped next to our friends this place called Space Station Zebra. Uh Now, remember I told you my friends Sharon and Almond, like they were the friends that they camped with, they were the guys that later on became Space Station Zebra. And I remember they made these really tall somewhat like fake uh palm trees, but they had these I'm not sure what they were called, but it was almost like dandelions, like these these fluffy like seed pod things. Uh I guess that were part of it and it got just everywhere. Oh man. Uh you don't have the same rules to they have today that they have back then. Um and I guess the worst incident from that year was that some you know back then like people didn't want to like bring stuff back from the ply. So like you know what I don't feel like packing all this stuff up in my car and my truck. I'm just going to make a big pile and just burn it you know. So I know the space station zebra guys like went out. I think it was like just barely past the esplan just out on the PL just on the playa, you know, and just like just carried a bunch of stuff and then like one or two members of our camp was just like, "Yeah, those guys are burning stuff. Let's throw some stuff on the pirate so we don't have to catch carry it back." And I don't think I was around or something like I only came back later when there was just this like I don't know at least this one member of our camp just kept coming back and like grabbing things and going and he's like where's the gas? We need I need more gas. Like what are you doing? You know, and then uh later on my other friend in our camp, John, was like, "Where's the coffee table?" And he's like, "I burned it. It's on the pile." And he's like, "But but that's my coffee table." And he's like, "Yeah, I burned it. We don't have to carry it back, you know." And he's like, "No, you don't understand. That's the coffee table for my apartment." So, yeah. Yeah. And apparently, I guess, uh, Rangers fire plate, whatever. They came around like multiple times and put it out and then, you know, they poured more gas on it and lit it again. And I guess that happened again and again and again. It was apparently it's one of the worst uh trash incidents of that year. H again, one of those things I only found out about like later when I was just like, "What the hell are you doing?" You know? Uh yeah, went back in 1999. COD came back again. We had about 12 campers. Uh we did a little bit more reading of the survival guide. I think we were like, you know, finally like on point that year and like left no trace finally. Um that was 1999, right? So year 2000, that was the first year I skipped because I me and Nicole got married. Yeah. And so I finally figured it's like after was it n four years, you know, it's like okay, I can take a year off of going to Bernie man, right? And then in 2001, you know, the.com bubble was bursting. A lot of our friends were like leaving San Francisco and you know, I mean, Nicole had been living in San Francisco almost seven years and we decided like, well, we want to move on and we're thinking about moving back to Vermont, but we was like, you know, we came out to San Francisco to be for like the warmth and like we wanted to come for like the beach, you know, like it's like Baywatch, you know, it's just like sunny and beautiful and warm every day. And You know, we go to uh San Francisco, you go to the beach and like you put your feet in the water and you're like, it's so goddamn cold. This is not like Baywatch watch at all. If they're watching some sort of different bay that's cold or spellier or something. So, yeah, we had a bunch of friends who moving to Hawaii and uh you know, I kept seeing this ad for this job in Hawaii and I was like, "Oh, I can easily get this job and they pay moving expenses." They're like, you know, let's let's Let's go to Hawaii, you know. Let's uh That was 1991. We thought we were only going to be here for two years. Uh that's 23 years ago. Yeah. Time flies. Yeah. When you're having fun. I mean, but honestly, like most people that we know that came here with the intention like I'm going to move to Hawaii forever, most almost almost all mo the vast majority of them were gone within like 18 months to a year. Hawaii is a very romantic romantic place you know like from the outside people think you know but uh it's a little difficult to live here it's a high cost of living it's Hawaii is the remotest place on the planet more remote than outposts in Antarctica it's like what 2500 miles to the nearest state other living human beings that are not on a ship uh Yeah, I mean it's it's hard to live. The jobs here are not that great, you know. I mean, uh lot of jobs like most of the jobs it's either like military, tourism, and the healthcare, you know. Um hard hard to make a living here. So, yeah. So, 2001, moved to Hawaii, but actually did manage to go to Birdie Man with Dan. Uh COD, Cult of Distraction returned. We had about 20 campers. First, that was the first year we had our our bar, although we didn't really do much with it besides just like make it and hang around it. But, uh, yeah, that was uh that was a good year. Uh, my brother Dan fell off an art car and got injured. Um, then yeah, then afterwards we went home like he uh he actually went back to New Jersey to go hang like a recuperate because he like he badly hurt his leg and That was the beginning of September 2001. And then we almost I guess all of you know what happens next. September 11th, right? September 11th happens. He was actually there. Yeah, that was a crazy morning. Okay. So then let's see, 2002. Uh I was hanging out here in Hawaii and I was like, you know, the feeling of just being here is very familiar. It's very similar. It was like what is this? What is this like I was like it just it felt very similar to like being out like on the playa, you know, and I was just like, "Huh?" You know, and I remember like looking up do a little research and I was like, "Oh, there's these like new like regional groups that are kind of popping up all over the place." And yeah, I mean, I know I had a couple of friends here, but I was like, I love Burning Man. I just moved here. I want to make some friends. It's like I want to get together with the local Burning Man group. There wasn't any Burning Man group, you know, and I was like, huh? I was like, well, I really want to hang out. with other burners like uh how do we do that you know and so finally you did some research looked online you know and they're like oh you know you could become like a regional contact and I was like oh uh and this has always been one of my philosophies like I just kind of want to do the the fun thing that I want to do but if no one else is doing it I was like well I guess I have to do it right I mean it's not that I want to do it like if somebody else is willing to do it then I'm like fine you do it and I'll I'll help out you know know, but uh I threw my hat into the ring. I think uh God, who did I talk to? I think Andy Grace, Action Girl back then. She was in charge of the regionals. I think I talked to her, maybe a couple other people. And so, I guess me and two other people threw their hats in the ring and they were like going to do like interviews and I don't know, a week or two later, they kind of get back to me and they're like, "Well, you got the job." And I was like, "Uh, oh, awesome. Thanks." You know, uh barely talked to me at all. And they're like, "Yeah, the other two people never got back to us. I was like, "Oh, okay. I guess it's me." So, uh, yeah. So, 2002 didn't actually go to Burning Man that year, but what we did instead was we had our inaugural burn. Uh, there's a beach on the west side of of Aahu. Oh, I didn't really say that like where I live. I actually live on the island of Aahu. I live in the Northshore place called Pupa now. Um, but yeah, originally I was the regional contact for all of Hawaii. But then as the story goes on, you'll hear about, you know, like uh other people became regional contacts for other islands. So this is 2002. We go out to this beach called Makua. Makua Valley is where like the the army does like live fire training exercises. And then there's like a little two-lane like highway. And then uh on the beach side there's like a beach and a bunch of like campsites. And it's it's unregulated. And it it took us a couple years to figure this out, but it's actually like illegal to camp there. But it's one of those things in Hawaii. It's like, h, you know, ain't illegal till you get caught, you know, it's like it's out, you're out in the country now, you know, so it's like, yeah, people do what they want. And people have been camping out there for like many, many years. So, you know, we showed up, there's probably about like 30 40 of us, you know, we dug a pit and, you know, we we busted up some some pallets and we got some other like firewood and, you know, We also we did a whole like beach cleanup and and don't worry, it's not like in Bernie man 1996 like we went and we Oh, I didn't even tell you that part. Like when we left we like you know our our mooping of our camp consisted of like well look what do you do when you finish camping. You you you know you you kick the the fire like the dirt over the fire pit, right? And you just kind of bury it. I was like ah it's sticking up. It's like ah just bury it, you know. Yeah. So we didn't do that like our first burn, you know. We we had screens, we had magnets, You know, we cleaned up like other burn pits. I mean, one of the best things was like when other people would like local families would come around and be like like, "Who are you guys?" Like, "Oh, we're like Burning Man, you know, like local group." It's like, "What are you doing?" Like, "We're cleaning up the beach." And they're like, "Why?" You know, we're like, "That's just what we do. We leave no trace, you know, we clean up. We make things better." And like that was like our first taste of, you know, interacting with like the local community and people like just being impressed and being like, "Oh, wow." Like we really like the cut of these guys chip, you know, like and then they even told us they're just like, you know what? When I come back here, I'm going to come camp where where you guys cleaned it up. It's like, yeah, thanks for thanks for making it better, you know. So, 2003, uh I think the besides me, the first regional contact was uh my friend Jeff Jeff Hurl. Uh he became I think it was 2003, right? So, our partner in crime with all this local Hawaii Burning Man stuff. regional activity. Uh let's see. No, we didn't incorporate till a couple years later. But yeah, I mean from that point on like we actually returned to Makua like about every 3, four months and you know we would do these like group camping trips and we'd come up with these like silly names for them. Um but it was always kind of like it would be like 30 then 40 then maybe 50 people. Like we didn't have like any generator. There's no electricity. you know, we'd had like the kind of drums, you know, and and like a burn pit or whatever. And then you we would do lots of uh you know, lots of cleanups. Yeah. And then let's see, we returned to Birdie Man 2003 uh with the Cult of Distraction again. Uh my brother, we drove out there and I think we had like a 14 foot truck at this point. Uh camp next to Spock Mountain Research. Those guys are a lot of fun. I remember later in the week they all put on diapers and drank a lot and then proceeded to see if they could like actually use the diaper in the appropriate fashion like you know go to the bathroom in them while they're you know wearing them. 2003 is also where I met a wonderful wonderful friend sister she's like a sister to me Jenny K. She camped across the street at the Cypress Lounge Bingo. Lifelong friendship still friends with her. to this day. In fact, I'm going to be camping with her on the Playa this year. My first time back in 13 years. Haven't been back since 2011. And oh yeah, that was the very first year we did the Friday sunset luau. We did it at the cult of distraction. I believe we called it Kaba on the Playa. And I think there's maybe a couple of dozen like Hawaii people like like showed up. And uh yeah, that that was that was a lot of fun. Do 2004 Cult of Abstraction and Cypress Lounge Bingo. We we actually did a joint camp. Uh it was kind of kind of camp next to each other but together. We all kind of you know front was kind of separate but the back was all kind of this the same and awesome year. That was also the first year that uh oh the so the regional group that we created that we started up I gave it the name of Ka Helina in Hawaiian that means the connection. So yeah, that year we had there was the first year we had kind of like an unofficial I don't think it was registered. It was the unofficial camp for called the Capilina camp and we did our second Friday sunset luau and then oh yeah another project in 2004 was the very first year of something one of my projects I'm most proud of a little thing called the regional information center. is basically Stephen Raspa did a Yman's job helping me out. He he got like DPW to build a structure. I organized like all the regionals to to make posters, you know, so I think it was like 11 by7 posters and I I got them to just, you know, to write whatever they want. It was kind of like uh when you go to like a conference, you know, people have like research projects or whatever. Like it's just like a simple way of kind of expressing like information. you know, in just like a 2D visual format. We don't have to like explain anything or show a video or anything. And yeah, I think we had a a fairly good bit of participation. And then we had uh shifts where, you know, different regional contacts can come and hang out and so like anybody who wanted to stop by and like asking questions, you know, there'd always be somebody there kind of like manning it, you know. And then the other part of the regional information center or brick, uh, uh was it was kind it meant was meant to be like a a hangout spot for regional contacts because up until that point I mean there's this uh regional discussion list like an email group that uh was probably like our our best method of communicating with each other and it was it was quite lively at the time. A lot of stuff was bandied about a lot of debates going on but outside of that the only other times that we would kind of communicate or get together was like once a year on the Playa they did this like uh well what now has become like the the regional network like celebration. So we would get together in first camp I think it was like a Wednesday or Thursday and you know it would be like a one or two hour just kind of drunken fest of people just kind of hanging out like oh my god that's what you look like in real life you know like kind of thing. So yeah so the the Rick the idea of the Rick was a place where it's like you know more than just a one two hour little stretch where we all get drunk and like you know like an actual in life place where we can kind of get together and you could talk to someone in real time and actually kind of get to know people. I mean as time would go by you know they I think was it 2006 they would start there was like the first summit and then which later on became like the global like leadership conference but we're getting ahead of ourselves. So yeah 2005 that was this The call cult called the distraction didn't go. I think my brother took the year off. I just like flew into Reno, rented a car and went. I think I brought like about 100 lays or something. Yeah. So, it was the second year for the Capilina camp. I had like 150 campers. That might have been like our biggest camp. Oh, no. No. I think 2006 was our biggest camp. Uh, so we did our third Friday sunset luau in 2005. Oh, yeah. We had our first roasted pig. So, we had some friends. Um, Was it Greg? I think it was as our friend Pia Pete and his friend Greg who are now most known for the Monaco. Um I think Greg had this spit where you could put up to like 120 lb pig and coals underneath it and it would just be like this electric motor would just slowly like rotate and uh yeah, I mean you'd be basting it and checking it out there just for like nine hours in the hot sun like you. this roasting thing, but when it when it was done, it was it was it was incredible. Uh yeah, and then this 2005 was also the second year for the Rick, but it moved. So the first year the Rick was kind of like behind Center Camp. I'm trying to remember where it was by like BMIR or something like that. Uh so the 2005 actually moved into Center Camp. It was like it was like right next to Media Mecca. and 2005. Yeah, that was the Katrina year. That's right. Because I flew in to Reno and I think I flew in like on a Wednesday and I think Katrina had like just happened and uh for all you you folk you young kids out there back then that was still kind of the era when like cell phones didn't work and there was like no internet and so you could it's really hard to get like real information like out on the Playa. Okay, quick little side story. A couple years before that, I'd made an art installation at our camp and I called it the rumor mill because God was like 97 or which year it was. But uh I remember people going on talking about oh you know Princess Diana died like oh I mean people would say all sorts of things like oh this famous person that famous person died and you get out and like ah no they're not dead at all. But that year they're like oh yeah Princess Diana died and then it turned out oh it was actually true. So I made this a bulletin board and people can come and I had like 12 different or 16 different categories and basically it was just it was called the rumor mill and they said like read a rumor leave a rumor and so you know people would kind of come up and just like write down like in the the realm of sports or politics or or celebrities or science or whatever you know science like oh we've just aliens have contact for the first time I mean how would how would you know it's like you wouldn't it was it was always kind of a game back then you could make up anything and just be like, "Well, we're out here at Burning Man. We're away from the the the the real world or now we call the default world." Yeah. So, 2005 working at uh the regional information center next to Media Mecca and center camp and Katrina happens and so I get there a little later, you know, because I was doing this like Wednesday to Sunday thing. Uh just like renting a car, driving out there, you know, and uh I brought with me like some newspaper And like I think Katrina had hit like the day before or something. So the Rick almost became this like de facto place where people like a source of information where like people would just kind of stop by and and they' like look at the newspapers and you know like look at the information like oh my god what's going on and then people would like want to like drop off like donations and stuff and we're like no no I think they would like we we they we had set up places like like info or other places like we'd kind of funnel people there. But people would always kind of come to us. That was an interesting year. Okay. 2006. That was a a momentous year for for Copilina for me a lot of different things. Copy finally incorporates as a 501c3, right? And at that point in regional network history, I think there's only either one or possibly two other regionals that were actually 501c3s. I think most of the regionals used the the same organizations type as as the Birdie Man project that done that time, which was an LLC. So, everyone was was forming an LLC, but you know, like we're a for-profit company, but we you know, we're not into making profits. And so, you know, we were like, well, why not just be a nonprofit, which you know, Birdie Man eventually did become. 2011, 2006 was Also, our very first multi-day burn. It's called Rebirth. Oh, yeah. I have to say is my friend, a really good friend, John Corbin. He became regional contact for the Big Island or the island of Hawaii. I can't remember it was 2004 or 2005. And so, in 2006, he finally found us a place where we could do a proper like multi-day burn. And We found he found us this like old lava field. Uh it was, you know, it was all grown over. It was like, you know, it was it was I think it was like a sugar cane plantation, but then it was like many years ago, so it was kind of rough. We had to bring in like a bulldozer. It's like, you know, it's like a D9 or something to kind of flatten it out and smooth it out. But uh yeah, we had I'm trying to think that first year like a good like 300 people or something. We And we had the full legit event, you know, we had a gate, we had a Ranger, Ranger parttime, I think, at least one Ranger. Uh, had our DPW by headed by Eli. I forget his last name now. Eli, sorry, I forgot his last name. He still is out in the play. He's probably out there right now like setting up stuff. Uh, we had medical, you know, we had greeters, we had fire spinners, you know, we had the whole show. Our friend, my friend Mike Mong, uh, built our iconic like Phoenix. Uh it's the same Phoenix that we had built for core years later. We'll talk about later. Yeah, that was it was a very successful event. Even like the police like you know we had we interact interfaced with like the police, firefighters like everyone. We you know we got all the insurance like we dotted all our eyes and crossed all our tees. And one of the our claims to fame was we the story we heard years later was like the the police would would go to bust up like other parties and this is in the big island in in Puna. It's like the southeast side of the big island and you know the police would go to bust up these parties and they would go be telling these people and they're like hey you know you guys should be doing it like these Bernie man people because they're doing it right okay like I mean I think at that point the police to the police any event that had over a hundred people is technically a riot and so they came in they saw us with like 300 and they were like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa but You know, they walked in, we showed them all around. They saw like every like the the kids camp to the older people like and everyone was just having a good time and there's no fights and no injuries. They're like very impressed. Well, 2006 is also the third year for the Capina camp. That I think was like our high mark. Uh the camp was so big it basically kind of took up a block. Uh it was essentially was a village. age. Um, Cult of Distraction, Cypress Lounge Bingo also came back and we anchored like one corner. Uh, Ply Pete and Greg, they anchored like another corner and Ply Pete made this had a scaffolding with this really large like volcano. It was like what, like 50 feet tall or something. It was like huge. I mean, you could see it from across the PLA. Uh, and then Mike Bong who built our Phoenix and he also has had other like play art pieces. Uh he anchored like a third corner and uh yeah, I think the we had our fourth sunset luau and did we I think we just had the one pig that year, but there were something like 750 people lined up. That pig was gone in like 15 minutes. If it wasn't for the tuna guys showing up, like oh my god, there probably be like of people like angry. I was like, "What? There's no food left over." I mean, it was always kind of a potluck like we asked people to kind of bring stuff, but of course there's more mouths than, you know, people, you know, having hands to to bring food. That was the last year of the cult of distraction. Sadly, um, yeah, it was also the third year for the regional information center, but yeah, now it moved more. It was like still in center camp, but I actually moved to like first camp or or like right next to to first camp and so it was just kind of looking out like right on the the esplanadeon and that was it was kind of more of a proper uh kind of department then it's like it wasn't just like this ramshackle like in the first year it was just like construction scaffolding with like plywood like uh zip tied to it and then I would just like staple these posters onto these this this warping plywood. I mean this was finally they they used some of that like filigreed wood that was like left over from like the David Best temples and so we used that to that was like their signing and then you know Steven Raspa graciously got us like a bunch of couches and some like desks and things and it was it was a great place and we had a lot of shifts like I think we had at least two regional contacts on and you know we think it's like two hour shifts or whatever and so it was a great opportunity for regional contacts to just kind of get together and meet and and and talk about regional network stuff, you know. All right. 2007, we had our second rebirth on the big island. Uh I think we probably had somewhere around like 4 450 people or something, you know. Again, very successful. Had a had a great time. Uh the fourth year for the Capilina camp, that year was it it went down down in size because 2006 was a high water mark. This year in 2007 was about 70 people. We had our fifth uh annual Friday sunset luau. Uh the Rick came back again for the fourth year in the same place in center camp. And then uh at the end of 2007, we actually held our first Capilina like year-end summit. So I kind of need to explain Copilina a little bit. Um Yeah, we had different regional contacts and different islands, but the whole concept of Capilina was that we were, as I said, Hawaii is the most remote place on the planet to to be. So, we need to rely on each other and so and like work together and achieve like economies of scale and and etc. So, the whole idea of copy was that we were like one statewide family. I mean, each island was kind of running its own show, but then for larger projects, you know, we would come together and like work together and you know, we would have like one 501c3 like you know, it's like one uh bank account. It's like, you know, like this this one main entity that would kind of umbrella and cover everything else. So, you know, each island can just, you know, focus on more of like the more fun things to do, you know, like like DPW. It's fun, you know, and art and rangers and and all the other stuff. Just not getting bogged down, you know, with like uh insurance and permits and this and that. Uh yeah, so then that was the 2007 at the end of the year we had our first year end summit which was a gathering of like all of the the movers and the shakers on the different islands and we got together and we went over like everything that happened that year and we'd like set the budget for the the next year and it was a great time and uh we all learned a lot. All right, 2008 2008 very momentous year the third rebirth our biggest ever at that point. I think we had like 650 people. It was a smashing success. Uh but actually right before that, my son Luca was born. And as I like to say, my attempts at retiring began uh the moment my son was born, but they wouldn't let me. So the next couple years, I kind of hung on as as leading Capalina and being the regional contact here in Hawaii. But I was kept trying to pass the reigns cuz, you know, I was like, well, I think I got some other priorities and things I got to do. And my son was born with some uh some medical difficulties that required a lot of time and attention and work. I mean, he's he's doing fine. He's doing great now. He's actually 16 and a half. Just got his driver's permit. He's be taking the SAT soon. Probably going to be like empty nest in a year and a half or so. But, uh, Yeah. So, 2008, son was born, last rebirth. Oh, yeah. Well, later on we'd find out it was the last rebirth because uh the people that we rented the land from, we later on we would find out they're like, "Oh, the land's not permitted for this use and you have to get a special use permit." And they had done all this other like illegal construction and they had all manner of difficulties. So, we couldn't go back there. At that point, we, you know, we were just consistently looking around all over the state for like anywhere to do some type of event like this. And it's just really really difficult, you know. Uh Hawaii is not a large state. Uh there's a a few large land owners. It's like the state government, the federal government, you know, like the military, uh the Kamehameha schools, Castle and Cook, Dole. I mean, they own like most of the the land and most of the places if you just like look around in a plane be like, "Oh, that'd be an awesome place to have a bird." It's like, "Yeah, but unfortunately it's owned by so and so and they're not interested in renting out their their land to us." So yeah, then that was the fifth year for the Capina camp and we didn't have a Friday sunset luo that year and the fifth year for the regional information center. The center camp still in the same spot. 2009 comes around and yeah, rebirth is no more. This is when things kind of start to turn like we're not really doing like the big burns anymore. Like we couldn't go back to Makua because a number a couple years before that like uh you know we were doing these like 30 40 50 60 person like uh just kind of unplugged beach burns and they worked great and then uh the dance community felt left out and they said we want to be included. So we're like okay we're all into inclusion so let's include you and then of course you know they wanted to bring generators and lights and and and it we had an event and it was about to happen and I got a email from the department of uh land and natural resources telling me to cease and desist w with this event because it now has peaked above the R and no more could we have our beach birds at Makua Rebirth. We could not do rebirth at the same spot anymore. So at that point we kind of pivoted to doing events we called urban events like we would rent out uh like a club or a bar and some some of them had like an outdoor space and you know we'd have fire spinners, we would people would do like suspensions like we had a whole range of things. We had bands and Yeah. So, 2009. So, starting off that uh kind of started off with a bit of tragedy. Our our really really good friend John Corbin, he you know, started off end of 2008, had a little pain in his shoulder and then uh within six months, you know, he passed away. He had some kind of cancer that was never diagnosed. And so, yeah, that was a really big blow. Um our friend Freddy took over and later on Stephen helped Freddy like uh and you know they would continue to do other events just like gatherings and gettogethers and they would build floats for the Christmas parades and stuff but we never really ever did another uh large burn. So 2009 was also the sixth and the last year for the copina camp. I think fin last camp was actually down to 30 people. It was the sixth and last uh Friday sunset luau. and uh the sixth and and I believe this was the last year for the Rick in the center camp in your first camp because after I I think it was 2010 or 2011 the regional information center got folded into uh everywhere village so that was uh Bernie man decided you know it's like well why have you know black rockck arts foundation and and burners without borders and regional information like we're having like all of these different places like we're all talking about the 51 other 51 weeks of the year, right? And so they want to have like one place where it's all kind of concentrated together. Yeah. Uh that was 2010. I actually didn't go in 2010. And I remember I was sitting in my house and I was like watching the the webcam and just like you know reading stuff. like friends post, you know, or send me. And that's when it first hit me. I sent out this email just like I think it was like one or two paragraphs and it's basically just like, hey, what if we did this project where each regional, we get a bunch of different regionals like uh to bring out to the playa the effigy that that that you know that we make in our regional and then we'll put it like we'll surround the man with like these these these effiges, you know, and and the the early beginning idea was that like, oh, it's got to be this fantastical thing where like when the this ring of like regional effiges, you know, light up. It's like that each one's going to shoot towards the man and then that's what'll light up the man. But, you know, of course, I mean, Crimson had other ideas and, you know, I'm sure uh Oh, man. That just that's just a logistical nightmare that that would have been. So yeah, I actually coralled people like I sent out this email like it uh I got a lot of response again. It was on this regional discussion list, right? And a lot of the regionals were like, "Yeah, let's do this." And then um I think I approached the Burning Man project about this and they weren't really that interested because also this was just right after Burning Man happened. I'm sure there's still like know mooping the playa and like cleaning up and I think they're like ah we'll talk about this like later on or it's like you know if you can get this off the ground then like you know then maybe we'll we'll talk about it. So then over the next month or two I put together a spreadsheet and I got it was some what 20 24 different regionals had had uh pledged to bring effiges and you know we we made it legit you know we we I got them to commit, you know, it's like with the the size and the shape and how much money and like what they were going to do and who were they going to be the contacts and this and that. And then at a certain point, you know, I fairly quickly on I realized, you know, it's like, oh, uh, this is this is too big for me to do. Like I can't do this. And so I approached uh or I was approached by my friend Curtis Coleman who actually had the same a very similar idea and Uh, I don't know if Curtis, if you thought I was stealing your idea or something. But I was actually more interested like, "Hey, Curtis, can you take this over from me because like I I I'll do the Hawaii effigy, but I'm not going to like organize this whole this is this is too much for me to do like all the way from Hawaii." And then later on like Andy Grace and uh Bernie man, they get involved and they say like, "Okay, this is awesome. We want" And so they took took control of it and like willingly gave it up, you know, and said and Yeah. Then they did an awesome awesome job. And uh when Corey 2011 came around, that was actually my very last trip to the Playa. I did go with my brother. We did make a little mini cult of distraction. We had our little bar top and our little cod flags and but uh yeah, my main focus that year was uh was core, which core stands for circle of regional effiges. That was one of the names things I came up with with when we were first like figuring this out and I think I came up with like a dozen different things and I was like I don't know what do you want to call it and everyone's like core yeah we like that okay yeah so 2011 core happens it's it's amazing it's my final swan song I bow out you know my last trip to the playa then 2012 you I know I'm heading towards retirement I'm like okay I think I got one last thing in me and so we actually find our golden goose. We We find this spot on Aahu that's willing to to rent us out for a multi-day burn and we're like, "Okay, yeah, I'm going to like leave this to like the the the next generation and I'm going to have it all set up." And this was this event was called supposed to be called Kaleidoscope. And it was it was great. And it was on this this ranch and it was secluded and we had a ironclad uh uh contract with the owner and everything. Unfortunately, it's the propertyy's owned by the Mormon church and the owner like, you know, leases it from the leased it or still does lease it from the Mormon church and it was like subleasasing it to us. And so, like in the contract, I mean, it says, you know, it specifies that, you know, they're the they're responsible for for telling the landlord like this is what's going on. So, about 24 hours before the gate is supposed to open. You know, we were contacted by the the Mormon church telling us to cease and desist and they said, you know, if we let people on this property, I personally will be arrested. So, yeah, there was a lot of uh last minute scrambling. We had people flying in from all over the world. We managed at the last second to find another place and kaleidoscope actually did happen again for like the next year or two after that at this other place called Camp Timberline. Um wasn't as optimal as this place, you know, but it was a place and it did happen. That was 2012. So then, yeah, pretty much at that point, like right after the kaleidoscope disaster, uh both me and Jeff, we both retired and hung up our hats and we passed the torch and our friend Mac call. Uh she became the regional contact for Aahu and yeah, I just kind of moved on with my life. I mean, Bernie man kind of came back around again. Let's see that was roughly like 2016 or so, like maybe another four years later is like when my friend Clem, also known as Halon, he contacted me and was asking for advice and information about Capilina and like activities here. And that kind of began this discussion. I guess it's been going on like eight years now where I've been trying to help him like get things going here again because after Mac took over, she did it for a couple years and then she moved to to the mainland and then I think a couple other people took it over after that. But then it everything just kind of petered out and nothing much really happened anymore. So in my life in between then you know my son grew up and I spent years you know being a being a dad and going to work and yeah uh other than that experienced a whole hell of a lot of death. Uh the first one was uh I think it was 2013 my my wife's younger sister tragically died. Uh, and at that point, I don't know, we decided we we kind of needed a change. And so, this house that we've been living in, we sold it and we bought some land and we were going to build this house. And the the rental market was really crazy. So, there was only this one place that we could move into. And it turned out h we moved in with this uh sociopath. And that was about nine months of hell. But then we finally built the house and we moved in. Once we moved Then we were like, you know what? We're never moving again. And it's it's a wonderful wonderful place. Uh 2015, both of my wife's parents passed away. Not together, but you know, they weren't they were separated for many years, but um they both passed away within a couple of months each other. 2016, I get in a head-on collision. Don't worry, I'm okay. I have a scar in my shoulder. I can show you. Uh see, 2018, my father passes away uh 2022 and my wife's stepdad passes away. Yeah. There also were like a couple of other cats that we had that died. And also there's just the job I have every day where it's just like my job basically is death, you know, like I'm just looking for cancer and you know, it's not it's not uncommon to see body parts on a daily basis, you know. And then last year my wife's older brother, you know, passes away. Yeah. So, time moves on. So, then finally last year in terms of the Bernie man world, our Bernie man resume, we finally got together. They we got the gang back together. We did a Hawaii leadership summit on the the Big Island. Yeah. Because we've been kind of referring to ourselves as a zombie regional and apparently We're not the only ones. I guess there are some other regionals out there like this, too, where we used to be quite active. We used to have a lot of stuff going on, but now seemingly nothing, but you know, it's still kind of there in name only, but what is really going on? So, we did a summit to kind of to get together people from the the different islands. We had people from Aahu, the big island, Maui, Kauai, and you know, and we had a good about 24 hours together. together and we decided, you know, let's keep this conversation going and let's see where this goes. And we created a Slack group and I mean, not much has happened like since then, but um this year we're actually going to be doing our first ever uh Friday sunset luau on the Playa after 15 years. Finally is going to be coming back. If anybody wants to come by and say hi, if you're gonna hear this before then, it's going to be at Star Cats. That's what 3:30 in Esplanade Friday from 7 to 9. Bring something to share. I'm going to bring a half gallon of Pog. Yeah. So then uh brings us Yeah. to this year. So the return of the Friday Sunset Luo, my return to the play after 13 years. I'm going to feel like anybody know Rip Van Winkle is you. I go to sleep and I wake up 13 years later. Last time I went was 2011. Now it's 2024. some a lot of things change. I don't know, maybe things are kind of returning the way they were. Tickets are still available. It's like gate opens like in about a week. It's going to be interesting. And 2024 is also now listening to this, the birth of the shadow of the man. This is a project I've been working on, at least in my head now, for I don't know, last couple years, listening to other podcasts, you know, uh figuring out what I want to do in the world. like how can I contribute and I figured this is the best way you know do what I love talking to people talking to people I'm I'm very interested in stories of other people you know like whether you know if it's like like Marian you're you're CEO of Burning Man or or Action Girl you know you've done so so much you know coyote you know like I I love your book I read it like it's like I just I want to know like more of the people's background stories you know it's like where'd you come from it's like you know And then but also just like how did this change you? Like what does this mean to you? You know, like I want I want more from the story and I thought this would be kind of an interesting thing that other people might be interested in. So yeah, that finally brings me to third part of our show. How is Bernie man changed me? Well, Bernie man has always been about one thing and it's something Bernie man has taught me the value of something what I call the connection. I mean, that's what I I named Copelina. Like, that's what it's all about. It I mean, it all started with with me and my brother, you know? It's like we're finally adults. We're not kids anymore and we're living on the other side of the country and we're like, let's go do something fun. It was it was about like it was a bonding experience. And then when we created the cult of distraction, you know, it it was it was a bonding experience. It was it was people connecting. And then when he when I created the regional cure, It was about connecting. Like I wanted to to connect to other people. We we did these multi-day events. We did these urban events. We did pia luos. Like it was all about connecting people. It wasn't I want to throw this big huge crazy party and I want everyone to know that you like I'm the man throwing this party, you know? I was like no, I don't care. Like I just again I I want the thing to happen. If somebody else would do it, then fine. But nobody else does do it. And it's all about people connecting, you know. Yeah, going back to the plas also taught me the value of uh like breaking down barriers and connecting with strangers. I mean, Randy man's all always been about like you like what Danger Ranger did years ago. You drew a line in the desert, you crossed it, and you walk into this new place and it's you're you're somebody new, you know? You're the wobbling crank, you know? You're not Joe Smith. It's like who you are in the real life. I mean, one of the worst things the questions I could I remember asking people, I'd be like, "So, what do you do in the real world?" They would just recoil be like, "I don't want to talk about my programming job back in San Francisco." You know, but um yeah, I don't know. I It's a place where just kind of break down those barriers and just connecting with people like, you know, that just why have these artificial barriers whether it's like race or class or gender or anything? Like, people are just people. you know, treating everyone as equals or as more as equals as as family. Yeah. And also part the whole part of going through adversity and struggle kind of like you know the military or fraternity or whatever and it's like you know it's like you're being there for each other. I mean it creates community. Uh yeah and I took that lesson back home and tried to replicate it my own life and community. Yeah. Yeah, there was a someone asked a question of Marian. She had a a talk at Robot Heart a little while ago and someone asked her. She was like a woman a woman of color and she asked like, "Oh, you know, how can I get into Bernie man? It seems like it's like it's a white space." And you know, Marian gave a really great answer and and she, you know, brought up like the the Black Burner project and this and that, but I don't know in my mind This is I I wrote what I was like I this is kind of what I would say to that like you know how can I get into this white space says the connection between burners as fostered on the play is way stronger and deeper than skin deep. The ply is actually a lot more diverse than the casual glance will tell you. You're welcome to join the family. We invite you with open arms. We'll accept you with no preconditions if you'll accept us with none. You know again it's the connection. This is what Burning Man has has taught me. And this concept and later on I would call it the the connection hypothesis. It's radically rearranged. I mean just about everything in my life. I mean it's maybe a better husband, a better father, a better co-orker. I mean just a better random stranger on the sidewalk. You know, it's one of my favorite games is the what I call like giving the a gifting strangers with connection. You know, it's like I'm at a red light or walking across the street and it's pouring rain. I have an umbrella and I see somebody there and they're just kind of sheepishly standing in the rain. I just walk over to them and put the umbrella over them like here have some umbrella and every single time they're just like, "Oh, are you sure?" I'm just like, "Yeah." Cuz you know what? Like that's the that's to my mind it's like that's the Burning Man way. Like it doesn't matter who you are, you know? It's like I'm doing something like I have something I can help you with. It's a gift for me. to connect with you and share. Yeah. And let's see. Death and the connection. Yeah. Like I said, I've been through a lot of death, but uh I've learned a lot from it. You know, I I actually have a on Substack. I'll give you the the URL in a second. You know, I've been like writing down some of these things about this connection hypothesis, but uh one of them is about death because the thing that I've kind of learned after going through so much so close. I mean, I didn't tell you like even the worst of it, but I'll go there. Um, when somebody dies, that connection that you have with them is just like ripped out of you. You know, there's just this hole. It just leaves this gaping hole. I mean, the closer you are to somebody, like, the more of a hole like, you know, it rips out of you. And So what do you what do you do? What do you need? You know, like like a after that it's like it's kind of like, you know, you make a hole in the ocean. It's just like, well, the water rushes in to fill it. It's like, well, what's what rushes in to fill it? Other connection. You know, one of the worst things you can do or that can have happen to you. You know, it's like when somebody dies, and I've seen this firsthand in families, family connected to, you know, the worst thing in the world you could do is like when somebody passes away is for everyone to go to each other's throats. It's just like you just make that hole wider. You know, the thing to do when death happens is for people to circle the wagons and you need people to to put a hand on your shoulder and say, you know what, I might not be able to do much for you, but at least it's like, look, I'm I'm here for you. Anything that you need, I'm I'm here for you. It's just that bond. It's that connection that can help heal that can help heal the wounds. Like death is is not about the dead. It's about the living. the dead are dead. They can't, you know, feel disconnected anymore as far as we know, you know, but uh the people who are here, your your sisters, your brothers, your your mothers, your aunts, uncles, fathers, you know, like friends, family, you know, like that's what we need is you need you need connection and that to me is what Bernie man delivers. So yeah, I started a Substack. It's dedicated to my understanding of Uh what the playa inspired me to understand is the connection hypothesis. You can find it at one word connection hypothesis.substack.com. Yeah, check it out. Subscribe if you're interested. I mean, right now at this point, most of the concept is in my head. I I mean, I promise to write down more of it as time goes by. Uh but honestly, I'll be more motivated if anyone's actually interested. I mean, if people actually subscribe. So, don't worry. I more of you subscribe, the more stuff I'll write. Anyway, this has gone on probably about an hour and 18 minutes so far. Okay. Well, that's my story. At least a taste of it. There's there's a lot more, you know. Uh I'm sure as this series or this show goes on. You'll find out little bits more about me here and there, but honestly, each show is about the guest. It's not about me. Again, it's not the Andy show. It's the shadow of the man, you know? It's like I want to see Like what effect has Bernie man had on people? Everybody says Bernie man changed me, you know? It's like, oh, Bernie man's this cathartic this thing. It's like, oh, it's so transformative. Blah blah blah blah blah. You know, like, well, what does that actually mean? You know, over time. I mean, and and I'm not looking for something just like 100% like, oh, I'm just looking for good stories. It could be anything, you know? I've heard bad stories, too. Alcoholism, drug abuse, you know, like Burning man is a very transformative a very wonderful thing has profound profound effect and has shaped people's lives and has changed things and communities and I can't wait to explore more of that with all of you and with that I thank you and uh our next episode is going to be with our first interview subject and that's going to be George Pap.

Thank you very much for listening. and I'll see you next time. Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this show, please subscribe, rate, and review it. Tell a friend, and help to spread the word. The more engagement we get, the more likely this project will grow. If there's enough support, perhaps we can do a lot more of these interviews and publish more shows per month. You can also follow Shadow of the Man on social media on Facebook, Instagram, X, and YouTube. These the links for these pages are all available on the front page of shadowoftheman.com. See you next month for a new episode of the shadow of the man.

Thank you for listening to this latest show. We have to make another one. So got to go. Don't worry. For next month we already have one. in the can. Very soon you'll be listening to a new shadow of a man.